Sunday, 30 April 2017
I am sad that Fra’ Cristoforo’s blog, Anonimi della Croce, has ceased to exist. I thought the letter he posted near the end, said to be from a German priest and spiritual counsellor to the former Pope Benedict XVI, was very interesting, though not a clincher, as it were. Some bloggers suspected that he and his confrère, Finan di Lindisfarne, were agents of the Vatican. I didn’t share that impression. I worried on some occasions that the things they revealed were planted, with a view to flushing them out.
On Palm Sunday, Fra’ Crisofore published the following prayer. I thought it very moving, and decided it would be good practice for me to translate it. Then I put it aside, being somewhat dissatisfied with my effort, as is so often the case with my translations. (I wouldn’t dream of offering my efforts to another blogsite, and have never done so.)
I was going through the contents of my memory stick this afternoon, and discovered that the prayer was still there. I have given it another tweak or two, and I thought you might like to read it.
O my Lord,
On this day, when we meditate upon Your Passion, it comes into my mind how many times I too have denied You; how many times I too have run away, as the Apostles did; how many times my heart has remained closed against Your Love.
And today I see how much You have loved me, Lord! I see it in Your Cross! I see it in the insults and spitting which You took in place of me. And through it all You did not protest. You were silent. For me.
I see how great my sin is, every day; how great my wretchedness is. But at the same time, I see how immense is Your love for me.
I beg You, my Lord, bestow upon me just one Grace: help me never to doubt Your Love for me.
Nothing else matters to me, except to have You. And to love You.
I know my love for You is a small thing, Lord. Very small. Too small. I do not even know if I love You as You would wish. But the important thing is that You know.
Do not abandon me. I do not wish for anything else but You. Because You are my only reward. And this is my one joy.
In my heart is born the springtime of Your Presence in me. And the scent of the flowers drives out the pain from me.
Thank You, my Lord. Forgive me. I am Yours. And I want to die as Yours.
And when I meet You, after my death, I want to embrace You. And weep on Your breast. And beg Your forgiveness. Because the joy that You give has no equal.
I no longer have anything. I have You. I have everything.